There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
