Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize