I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
MIDGETS
????
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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