I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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