The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
