I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Small penises have feelings too.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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