Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i came on her dog
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize