haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
my vag is so smooth its legendary
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
