It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
she told me i tasted like america
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
