Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
