we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
