Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
