I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
