I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
