I'm drive I can fine osifer
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
