My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
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