we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
