sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
