why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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