So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
