I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
