Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
