i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
