She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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