Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
