I think I just saw someone hide a body.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
