I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
