somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
