this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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