just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
