i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
