omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
