I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I skipped work to stalk him.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize