WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Randomize
