i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
