Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
