Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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