love makes seman taste better
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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