Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
