she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
