I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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