don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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