Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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