i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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