I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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