the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
