billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
