I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
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