Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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