Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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