you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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