How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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