She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
