Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
