Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
