he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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