Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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