I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I look better un-naked...
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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