Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(409): View more from Texas

so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes

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(916): View more from California

do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?

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(817): View more from Texas

The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.

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(443): View more from Maryland

And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes

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(561): View more from Florida

My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.

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(512): View more from Texas

Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out

(506): View more from New Brunswick

That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said

(336): View more from North Carolina

i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids

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