We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
